Seminary life is filled with a lot of activities; activities in school and in the community. Every day we are provided with a schedule to follow. Every day we are preoccupied by so many things. Every hour, every minute, every second, we are doing something. We never let the time pass by without doing something which is fruitful to us. We don’t even notice that another day is already fast approaching. We are taught to value time and to use it wisely. And often times, it is the seminary activities and my studies that consume my time. I treasured time most especially when the semester is about to end. As of now I am preoccupied by my thesis. I still have a lot of readings and many things to do with it. Sometimes I even sacrifice my siesta and recreation if there is a need. During the night, I am already tired and sometimes I arrive to the point that I will just pass by the Blessed Sacrament and do the sign of the cross as my night prayer. It even destroyed my prayer life. Every time I seat on my study hall, I cannot study well. It is because I am surrounded by many books which I still need to read and to give attention. I don’t know how to start. I don’t know which to prioritize and I just end up staring on my things without doing something. I started to lose hope because it seems that I cannot overcome these difficulties.
It came to my realization that during those moments, sometimes I need to pause for a while, relax, and to recognize that despite all these works and preoccupations there is God who will help and will support me. It is because if I just defend on my own abilities and capacities I cannot do it by my own. I must not force myself to finish all these things at the same time; I need to start one at a time. I also realized that it is not proper to sacrifice my leisure time because that is the time for me; it is my time to relax and pause for a moment in the midst of numerous works and preoccupations. It also the one giving balances in my seminary life to avoid pressure and depression. Seminary life is like a game I must know the rules and play the game. I realized that if I am just following the schedule in the seminary I will never be misled. The schedule is the one teaching me to have regular observance and it teach me to have self discipline. If it is siesta I should rest, if it is recreation I should play and if it is study period I should study well.
Furthermore, I do believe that all my achievement in this seminary is through the help of God. I do believe that I cannot pass all my philosophical subjects by defending on my own capacity because I am not that intelligent. I was able to do it and to overcome it because of the help and the grace of God. Maybe that is my secret why I still exist in this community. I continuously depending on the help of God and I continuously asked God to give me perseverance. What I am now is the fruit of God’s grace and mercy. In moments of difficulties and in front of many works which seems to be insurmountable, I should stop and know that there is God who will help me.
