One of our batch recollections which was done in Alabang, I remembered one our activities that showed total surrendering of oneself, which is the focus of my reflection. We were asked by our recollection master to choose our partner, one must be blind folded and the other is his guide. I was the one who was blind folded, and I saw nothing but darkness. We were asked to go around the subdivision with the blind fold and my partner is the one guiding me. My partner is the one indicating me what to do. I trusted him and I followed all his commands to avoid accidents. I surrendered myself to him because I cannot do anything without him. I cannot move because I cannot see. I cannot walk by may own because I am afraid that I might injured. I learned the important of trust, to surrender myself to others and to become a follower.
Applying it in the seminary context, my entering in the seminary is my act of surrendering to my formators. The moment I surrendered myself to them, they are already had authority over me. I need to follow the rules and regulations in the seminary with personal conviction in order for me to form. I trusted my formators and as a consequence I must follow all their commands. I need to obey them and to follow their will rather than following my own will. They are the one guiding me in my stay in this seminary.
Furthermore, I have a lot of realizations in those experiences, especially on reflecting on surrendering one self. I realized that I must have the attitude of being blind folded toward God; I need to surrender myself to him. I must have the attitude of being a follower, who is willing to follow the command of his master and willing to sacrifice his own will for his master. I realized that I cannot do anything without God’s help; I become conscious that I am totally dependent to him. I need to surrender to him all my worries, concerns, and difficulties in life. I need to trust in his saving power. I have nothing to be feared of if I surrender everything to him, if I trusted him. Moreover I learned to deny my own will and follow the will of God. That is what total surrendering is all about. It is about submitting yourself to others. I learned to become humble by trusting others. I learned that I must put everything to God and to surrender everything to him and to allow his will to work in me. I cannot do anything without the help of God. I cannot solve all my problems and difficulties in life by depending on my own strength and abilities. I must trust him, surrender everything to him and for sure he will not disappoint me, he will make a way to help me. In my four years of staying in this seminary I still believe that it God who is helping me in all my difficulties in this community, because I cannot do it by my own. Every time I prayed, I am always asking for his help and guidance. Thus, I must let myself see God in the person of others, who are very concerned with how I live my life.
